Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
