I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
