Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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