did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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