what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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