My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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