On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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