Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
