Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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