Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i've created a new STD.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
