the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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