Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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