hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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