I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
