if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
