We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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