There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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