Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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