it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
40s are totally the cure
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
