Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
