You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
