she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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