It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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