my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
