New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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