Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
