he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
