Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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