Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
