YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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