He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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