do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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