I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
