ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
