hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
