you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
