mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
