our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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