No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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