we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
