the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
