I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
