you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
