I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
