Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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