he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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