What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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