How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
