i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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