Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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