Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
