I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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