Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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