watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
